I’m Not His Last
She once said to me, “I was his first love.”
She tried to get him back, but he wouldn’t leave me
I was able to say at the time that I was his last
That is not true anymore
Another was able to take him from me
I wonder if it will last
Not that I want him back
I never want him back
I saved our love too many times already
He would claim the same, I think
But it’s burnt to the ground now
No more bridges to build or to cross
No more clothes in his drawers or closets
More room for me, I guess, now
He dragged all of his things away in trash bags
He didn’t even look back
I sleep alone and drift off thinking of him in her bed
I’ve never known torture before
I know it now
I make dinners for myself and enjoy some of that freedom
To eat what I want
When I want
Or not eat at all
Which happens too often these days
I’m withering away
I once said to someone in jest, “I wish just once I’d get
depressed to lose weight.”
That was a stupid thing to say
My son said today, “It was bound to happen one day.”
But that isn’t true of the love I thought we had
It was an old love, but I never once knew he wanted to leave
me
It was not perfect, obviously
I thought he could never see his life without me
I was naïve
Stupid
Deceived
He’s been seeing his life without me behind my back
I need to stop loving a man that no longer loves me
I need now to be someone else’s … last
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