Wicked Wind
I hear noises
I don't want to be a person fearful of the wind
I don't want to be a person fearful of anything
Yet, here I am
Fearful of so many things
Most of all
I am fearful that the noises I hear
Will remain more powerful
Louder
Than the words I recite in my head
Telling me
Not to be afraid
Not to dread
Breathe ... louder than the noises
Be ... louder than the noises
I wake too often in disbelief
Where is he?
Where is he?
Not too often anymore am I so much sad
as much as I feel shame
That is a loud noise I hear too often
Shame that shouts at me
shame he has made me feel about myself
about our life
about who he became
about reasons I do not even know how to explain
Why it is I that feels shame?
Where is he?
He has felt no shame
It only screams at me
Noise of blame
I wish the anger I possess was stronger than the pain
The noise of anger in my head
Is like a branch banging against the house from a wicked rain
The noise of pain
is
the
wicked
wind
that thrashes the rain
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